Just keep talking...

Today at the grocery store in the check-out line the checker man says "is all this stuff for just YOU?" When I said yes he said "Are you trying to quit smoking?" and then I gave him a confused look and he said "OH, well at least it will last a while..." Umm...right. I didn't have THAT much - just a lot of veggies and fruit and drinks...geez.

The Hours...

Last night I did a counseling session and completed the last line in my log. I tallied up the hours so that I could leave it for my supervisor to sign. After adding my first and second practicum sites together I had the pleasing feeling of knowing that all of my hours were done. I have spent 51 hours with couples and families, 130 hours counseling individuals and 399.75 hours doing administrative work and trainings. I have spent 580.75 hours learning how to do this "job" is what that means. It sounds like a lot (to me, because they were hard hours to get - hours I spent up there during holidays, when sick, missing favorite tv shows, and instead of spending time with friends and family), but in a full-time capacity that would only be about three and a half months. Although, if you think about the fact that I've had two internships, a full course load and a part-time job, it all seems so much more spectacular to me. I have spent 130 hours listening to people. Who else has a clock of the time they have spent listening to and helping people for the last year of their life? I have to admit that it is pretty cool to know that. 130 times I have sat with someone in a room and we have struggled, failed, and seceded together. I have spent 51 hours helping siblings and couples to see each other more clearly. 23.5 of those hours were spent with the grieving. One part time work-week sounds so insignificant, but I know it wasn't for them, or for me. I'm going to miss my clients and my internship, and that is how I am certain that my caring is genuine.

I've come to realize...

Barbara tagged me and I tag Danielle and Misty...

What I've come to realize:

1. I've come to realize that my butt:
widens as I age

2. I've come to realize that I talk :
in different ways with different people

3. I've come to realize that, I love:
to learn

4. I've come to realize that, I have:
to learn to adjust to change better

5. I've come to realize that, I lost:
a lot of stuff when my parents divorced

6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when:
I have patience for the people I know the least and am the hardest on the people I love the most

8. I've come to realize that, Marriage:
is both a dance and a battle and that people should spend as long preparing for their marriage as they do for their weddings. I may not be married, but there's a reason I'm about to be a licenced marriage and family therapist.

9. I've come to realize that, I am no longer embarrassed to admit:
I fart in my sleep

10. I've come to realize that, I'll always be:
a goody-two shoes

11. I've come to realize that, I have a crush on:
umm...no one except my boyfriend right now

12. I've come to realize that, the last time I cried was:
oddly not when I was upset about something, but because of a commercial

13. I've come to realize that, my cell phone is:
something that I both get excited about and cringe at when it rings

14. I've come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning:
I just want to sleep for about 5 more hours

15. I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night I:
do the exact same routine: wash face, brush teeth, pee, lotion my hands, put the dog on the bed, pass out

16. I've come to realize that, right now I am thinking about:
writing a paper, blow drying my hair, and where my life is going

17. I've come to realize that, babies are:
taking away my drinking buddies

18. I've come to realize that, when I get on Myspace:
I often feel old

19. I've come to realize that, today I will:
not write my paper again

20. I've come to realize that, tonight I will:
counsel a couple, then pack to go home for Thanksgiving

21. I've come to realize that, tomorrow I will:
go to radiation with my mom, make egg nog, do dinner with my dad

22. I've come to realize that, I really want to:
know the future

23. I've come to realize that, the person who is most likely to repost this:
Danielle

Freshly Fall

The other day my sweet sweet boyfriend brought me some fun fall flowers to brighten up my day. Here they are....

Newslings

I've been fighting trying to decide what to write on here for the past day. Should I tell the story about wearing a bandanna in a counseling session that cracks me up, or should I announce that I got a job? Obviously one of those is more exciting to tell, but I'm feeling...underwhelmed by it. I don't know if I'm burnt out, or maybe just am not sure about the job and what I'll be doing, or if really...I don't know. I just don't want to go through everything changing again. So, I guess I'll tell both.

The other day I was sitting in a counseling session and I felt something around on my neck. I touched it and suddenly wasn't sure what I was wearing...did I have on a turtleneck? Surely not, since it was in the 80's that day. I tugged at it and off come a teddy bear bandanna that I had put on the hour before in play therapy. My clients busted out laughing at my look of horror. I asked "HOW have you taken me seriously for the last hour with this on?!" And maybe to my horror, the lady answered "I don't know, it sort of matched so I thought maybe...." So now I'm the kind of person that might seriously wear a teddy bear bandanna with black pants and a red top. No, really...you never know.

And, just to make the official announcement...I accepted a job today. One down side though is that I still won't have a normal schedule, I may have to work a weekend day, and I hear it is really hard to get days off there. On a happier note, I also have already found my LPC/LMFT supervisor for after graduation. There are only about 10 of them (that supervise for both licenses) in Austin and one of them is now mine. That basically means instead of paying two separate supervisors $75 a week, I just pay one saying an average of $300 a month. Even if it was contributing to other procrastination, my early searchings have served me well. NOW I just need to study for and take two licensing exams and a jurisprudence exam. And write two final papers.

Coming out of retirement

Today I spent a long time trying to decide on some graduation decorations to order. I insisted that we have these graduate cardboard cutouts that had a spot for my picture as the face. I wasn't all that excited by the other stuff on the website though so while browsing around I found my new favorite website to order decorations and stuff from. It is called Century Novelty and I have to admit that I got way more decorations than I needed so my graduation is going to be all fancied up. The one thing I didn't get was the cardboard cutout but I guess I'll be ok with it since I got so much other stuff. They have every holiday, and I admit that I did get 20 Halloween creepy monster fingers for $1.00. Awesome right? They also have really cute New Years Eve sets, along with all kinds of other holidays and events to choose from. While looking for graduation stuff I found a bunch of other fun little things that make me smile like this personalized mug (you all know I have a cupboard FULL of mugs - a little more than 40 actually. I don't know the obsession, but it's there). I also found a picture frame and tassel holder that I can't decide between being cheesy or cute. I am WAY more into graduation the third time around so please don't mind my obsession. I am totally excited to finally have time to read the millions of books I've been collecting, and time to maybe find a craft or hobby since it seems that making stuff runs in the family. It's not as exciting as people who are planning weddings and whatnot, but we'll consider it to be my coming out of retirement and THAT is a big deal ;o)

Scattered paddler

I never updated from Halloween like I said, and I don't have a lot to say about Homecoming. It was fun and wonderful to see everyone, but I was totally exhausted the whole time. I feel like in my final stretch of school I'll be lucky if I can make it. OK, not lucky, but I always have something due and I've started looking and applying for jobs and I just feel scattered. Scattered is the way my head feels right now. I do one thing and it makes me think of another thing I need to do, and then the path just unfolds and I get lost in it. I need a personal assistant. A free one. So I'm over here following the path and paddling like a maniac. It's funny to be working so hard to get to the end because I know there's an end to this path, but then it just disappears. I'm a visual thinker so in my head I'm running down a path that will just disappear and then what do I do after graduation? If anyone has ideas, contacts, knows about jobs - I'd greatly appreciate your help so I don't just fall off.