How does that make you feel?
OK, so since Barbara (I used that coffee bean grinder today by the way - thanks!) was talking about freaking out in her last post I thought I would share what I am currently freaking out about. Tonight is my first night as a counselor. OH MY GOD I'm not ready! I'm going to sound like a complete dope, and it's not even with just one client, it's with a whole group AND my supervisor. I mean, of course I'll keep in mind that my supervisor told me that I probably can't make anything any worse, and that my upstairs neighbor (who is one semester away from completing her Masters of Social Work at UT) told me to "trust the process," but still...none of that tells me how to phrase things. Who would trust a counselor who said something like "umm...I can't think of the word for it, but you know...when you feel like people don't get you" or something stupid like that. Cause I know it'll happen. Maybe it'll inspire the women to think that they too can get a Masters if this idiot can. But really, it would be sort of like throwing any of you who have degrees in psychology into a room and telling you to work with someone. OK, maybe I've learned a tiny tad more about HOW to do it than a psych major, but seriously I think it's probably about the same. I pictured my first client being a kid, and well...not a group of adults plus a supervisor. Maybe just one adult, but group therapy is my worst nightmare. Seriously - I put off taking my group therapy class until my last semester of school because it terrifies me; so now I have to actually do it for real without any idea of how it should go. It's like God knew that in order to earn a good internship with good play therapy he was going to make me do something totally horrifying to me. I guess it will help me grow. And while you are all at home tonight eating dinner, picture me looking like a deer in headlights sitting in a group of women trying to form words and not turn red. It'll be good for a laugh, but if you don't mind, cross your fingers for me at the same time please.