Proof that you don't think when you drink

Zach quotes after ring dunking:
"It's like Prince - it's the skin formally known as ball sac"
"You put the finger in the hole and move it up and down"
no - he wasn't talking about what it sounds.

I think these lines have to be worth noting from downtown:
"Do I know you? Elizabeth? Christina? Tanya?.....cause I wanna get on ya!"
"I'm married but my friend is digging your chili"

OK, and not that this is a line, but if weren't true it could be one:
"Were you at Petco today? I think my dog sniffed your dog"
Yeah...Saffy sniffed a dog at Petco yesterday and then I saw her owner in a bar downtown. Small world! And now I have his number to set up a play date. I think he wanted me to shut up cause I was kind of drunky.

And then this is me just being "smooth"
guy "what do you do?"
me "I'm in grad school to be a counselor. I want to work with kids"
guy "that's kind of hot"
me "what? having a negative $100,000?"
and I guess this would be him being "smooth"
guy "no, being a teacher"
me "counseling is NOT being a teacher. I could counsel adults too"
guy "that's not as hot"