Beyond the cubicle wall
I sort of feel like I'm in a trance. I just stare around and don't focus on anything. I'm stressed out that I'm going to forget to tell someone something about work, or forget to put some important something on a server somewhere, or forget to delete all of my recipes from Charlie Gibson that I have on my computer, or something else. I am in a constant state of feeling like I'm forgetting something, or should be doing something that I can't remember. This is what it must feel like to be old. Next I'll start going bald. I'm almost certain I'll just skip the gray stage and go right on to bald. I'll be at work for 5 hours tomorrow, in which I have to back up 4 years of work. And tell vendors and developers and whoever else that I'm leaving. It's all so....final. I see why people stay at their jobs for 30+ years at a time now. Because the unknown...whatever is beyond the cubicle wall...is so much scarier than the elevators that drop a teeny bit when they stop, or the germs that have accumulated on my keyboard over the years, or the thought of what might happen if IT really IS reading all of my emails. Anything could happen, and with all of the positive that could be out there, there's equal amounts of negative possibilities. I try to think glass half full, but in this case I just want to be able to get a hold of the glass. Life is going by like the things that flip through the video tape everyone watches in The Ring. I know there's nothing I can really do about whatever happens after 1pm tomorrow. Except drink some margaritas.